Why Parents Torment Their Kids

I could not help but chuckle this afternoon, when my youngest (18 year old daughter) asked in a less than pleasant tone, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY GUITAR?" You see, her rather generous grandfather, also a guitar player, voluntarily offered to have her amplifier repaired and had returned it to her today. (This, of course, is a topic for another day as to why our parents want to torment us by giving their grandchildren things that they know will torment us!) My wife informed our daughter that we had put her guitar in the basement, something approaching a mortal sin, because she wanted it left in her bedroom.

Nonetheless, she stomped to the basement and, after reaching the bottom of the steps, proclaimed, "it isn't here! What did you do with it?" We reassured her, that if she looked more carefully she would find it. And, sure enough, about 60 seconds later, she returned from the basement, guitar in hand, insisting we had no right to put it there in the first place. Only seconds later, from our daughter's bedroom came the cry of "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY GUITAR CORDS? THEY ARE NOT IN MY ROOM?" We calmly replied that we did not know where they were, despite her protests that we had put them in a place where she was likely never to find them...at least for another minute or two. Apparently, they had disappeared into the 'teenager's room black hole' where all things lost and misplaced by parents set out to torment their children, put all things that their children cannot find after 'carefully searching everywhere' for at least 10 to 15 seconds.

So I began to ponder what our answers should have been. Neither my wife, nor I, nor any visitors to our house play the guitar, so why would our daughter immediately believe we had sabotaged her ability to find this instrument which she plays regularly: at least once every 2 or 3 months? Moreover, why would we hide the cords she needs to plug the into her non-working amplifier? Does she really believe we are so bored that we torment her by hiding her earthly treasures? She shouldn't, but she still does.

So maybe we should save ourselves the frustration of not being able to answer the 'lost article' questions our teenagers ask. We might as well have a little fun if we are going to be blamed any way. So I propose we now start fulfilling our childrens' widely held belief and hide things that they will be certain to miss. Take one of their favorite socks, not the pair, just one, and put it in the sweater drawer. Then, take their favorite sweater and put it under their bed. You get the idea. Do something different every day and then wait for it..."WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FAVORITE SOCKS? I CAN ONLY FIND ONE?" You then reply, "did you look in your sweater drawer? That's where you put it the last time you couldn't find it." And so it goes. They'll continue to find something you hid in a place where you convincingly tell them they put it!

If we all do this, I predict these teen aged children that we have repeatedly tormented by putting things where they can't find them will either (1) begin to think they are losing their mind or, (2) quit asking stupid questions!

Happy Hiding.